You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
