I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize