I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
