I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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