guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
