I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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