apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
