whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
