He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
