Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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