i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
