just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
