and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
