You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
