I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
