I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
