i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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