Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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