I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
