In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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