so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
