last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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