I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
