The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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