I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
