I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
