it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This is the high leading the old right now
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize