I feel like I'm in dance class right now
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
