Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
