If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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