their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
