how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I lost the right to judge tonight
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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