I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
