my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
