He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
