Your face is a jimmy john
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
