last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
