if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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