i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
