did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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