We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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