I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
