I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
