Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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