...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
