i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
