k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
