Little spoons don't ask big questions
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
