i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
