okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm at about main and main street
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
