i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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