Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
