It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
