I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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