how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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