I think I died a long time ago.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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