I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize