Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
