I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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