You were right. It hurts to walk today.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
