best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
do herpes really smell.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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