Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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