You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
