My hair reeks of homosexuality.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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