I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I cannot find my penis.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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