Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
