when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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