OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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