next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize