the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
