i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize