I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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